I'm sorry, Bobby Jenks

Two weeks ago, as the White Sox were thrashing the Red Sox, I twice wrote about how impressed I was with the pitching of White Sox stand-in closer Bobby Jenks. Well, Chicago wrapped up the ALCS with their fourth straight victory over the Angels a few days ago to win the ALCS, but they did it without ever letting Bobby Jenks pitch against his former team. I take full responsibility for this travesty, and I hereby formally apologize to the entire Jenks family.

Wing asked me to write about "post-bad-call meltdowns," and in the process demonstrated that he is a master hyphenator. Well, unfortunately I don't have much to say on the topic. It was a brutally blown call by home-plate-umpire Doug Eddings, and yet a playoff team should score more than a single run in nine innings to legitimately think they should win a game. Bad calls happen; this one just happened to happen at a crucial time and in a mysterious manner. Perhaps the rally monkey was off taking a nap.

So, yes, I was glad to see the White Sox triumphant. In addition to the monkey and nomenclature nonsense which I've already mentioned as factors encouraging me to root against the Angels, the Angels are guilty of the heinous sin of bringing thundersticks to baseball during the 2002 World Series. (OK, I know that link doesn't establish that fact, but: (a) I'm pretty sure it's true and (b) the text at that link is pretty amusing nonetheless.) And, man alive, four consecutive complete games is just out of this world these days.

My lasting memory from the Angels-ChiSox ALCS is apparently an image that does not exist anywhere I've looked on the Web. It is the image of Chicago first baseman Paul Konerko calmly placing his foot against the side of first base to retire Casey Kotchman to end Game 5 and win the pennant. Konerko didn't jump on the bag; he didn't step on it emphatically; heck, he didn't even step on the base at all. It was professional, and—somehow—it was classy. While he didn't hold back from celebrating the ALCS victory with his teammates, he knows that on the field there's still a larger goal not yet accomplished.

Over in the National League, the Astros put away the Cardinals in impressive fashion. You can count me among the millions of sports fans who gave the Cards a significant edge in the series after Albert Puojls shocked Minute Maid (yum) Park into silence with his two-out, three-run, game-winning-but-not-walk-off home run on Monday. And yet the Astros showed tonight why they were able to come back from being 15 games under 0.500 early in the season to win the wild card: dominant pitching. Roy Oswalt was brilliant, and while the Cardinals did get screwed on Adam Everett's phantom tag (ok, it was closer than that picture shows) in the fifth inning, I'm pretty confident that the proper call would not have changed the game's outcome.

Looking back at our scorecard...

1. St. Louis Cardinals: Won 3–0; Lost 4–2
2. San Diego Padres: Swept!
3. Chicago White Sox: Won 3–0; Won 4–1
4. Houston Astros: Won 3–1; Won 4–1
5. California Angels: Won 3–2; Lost 4–1
6. Boston Red Sox: Swept!
7. Atlanta Braves: Lost 3–1
8. New York Yankees: Lost 3–2

...you can see that I'll be pulling for the White Sox in the World Series starting on Saturday. Except... except that I won't be. As Houston's been perched on the edge of a National League pennant for the past few days, I've been forced to reconsider whether I really have enough animosity towards Roger Clemens to force me to root for the American League representatives. And, while I'll never be inviting Clemens to any small family functions, I think the answer is "no." Looking at the relevant issues:

• NL vs. AL. This is muddied by the fact that the White Sox often play like a National League team, sacrificing runners, stealing bases, and manufacturing runs—at least until Konerko steps to the plate. Small edge: Astros
• The George Steinbrenner Effect. Either Jose Contreras and El Duque will walk away with rings, or else Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte will. John Harper sums this up nicely in the Daily News. It looks like Game 1 will be Clemens (rather than Pettitte) vs. Contreras, but for Mr. Steinbrenner and many Yankees fans, this is a no-win situation. And that's a good thing. Edge: none
• Announcers. I don't know anything about the Astros TV or radio announcers. But I do know that the White Sox television broadcaster Hawk Harrelson defeated Tim McCarver (!!!) in the finals of a fan-voted contest to determine the worst non-ESPN sports broadcaster. Heck, Hawk even has an entire website devoted to removing him from the broadcast booth! (The contest even included two of my, *cough*, favorites.) Edge: Astros
• Players, managers, etc.. On the Astros I like, for no particular reason: Roy Oswalt, Biggio & Bagwell, Lance Berkman, Dan Wheeler (ex-Met!), Brad Lidge. On the White Sox I like, for no particular reason: Scott Podsednik, Paul Konerko, A. J. Pier-something-or-other, Freddy Garcia, Bobby Jenks (of course), Ozzie Guillen. On the Astros, I dislike Roger Clemens immensely. On the White Sox, I dislike Carl Everett somewhat. Small edge: White Sox.

So in the end, it is close, but I'll be rooting for the senior circuit. And my prediction? Astros in 6.

It's 2:00 AM and I've got two more (short) sports-related entries to write tonight (catching up a bit), so I'll leave you with this IM exchange between Jeremy and myself from a couple of nights ago:

Jeremy: white sox - houston will be a scrap for a run at any cost kind of series
Lee: the way baseball should be!
Jeremy: but chicks dig the long ball!
Lee: good thing i'm already married.

Good thing, indeed.